


The World Is Ugly (HIATUS)

by Bella_Muerte



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Psychological Drama, References to Depression, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-16 00:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21026930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bella_Muerte/pseuds/Bella_Muerte
Summary: Gotham City is going to shit. You're struggling to make ends meet with your dead-end job, your relationship is falling to pieces, and your dream of becoming an actress seems light years away. You're beginning to think that maybe this is all life has planned for you, but then one night, you meet Arthur Fleck, and he's more than willing to help you put on a happy face.





	1. First Encounters

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Not only is this the first fan fic that I've written in SEVERAL years, but this is also my first ever Joker fic! I absolutely loved the movie and thought that we were seriously lacking when it came to Arthur Fleck fics, so I decided to write one myself. This was originally just meant to be a quick one-shot, but the more I think about it, the more I want to expand the story. Hope you like it!
> 
> Y/N = Your name

He was a timid man.

That was the first quality of his that you had noticed as he walked onto the stage.

You recognized him from the one or two times you had seen him at the comedy club before. He had just started frequenting the place, usually sitting alone towards the back of the audience. This was his first time actually performing, at least from what you’ve seen.

The host had introduced him as “Arthur Fleck”. A plain name for a very plain looking man. Dressed in a white shirt that looked to be about two or three sizes too big, a maroon vest, and oversized slacks to match, you could tell that he probably hadn’t been wardrobe shopping in about a decade. However, this look suited him. It worked well on his small, frail looking body. The size of clothes seemed to provide a sort of comfort for him, judging by the way he hugged himself closely. You imagined them being almost a kind of suit of armor, protecting him from the cold, harsh world.

“Hello,” He spoke a little too closely into the microphone, causing a piercing, electrical shriek to sound throughout the room. Arthur quickly put a hand over the mic and took a step back as the audience (yourself included) winced in pain and covered their ears.

“Sorry…” he muttered once the room had gone quiet again. You watched as he glanced quickly around the room, taking in the size of his audience, before he pulled out a small notebook.

“Jesus,” you heard your coworker mutter. “What kinda fuckin’ comedian can’t even remember his own material?”

You turned towards the bartender and gave him a pointed look before looking back over to the stage.

“Be nice,” you whispered. “It’s probably his first time.”

Arthur flipped through his notebook nervously until he found the page he had been looking for. He scanned it quickly, ensuring his jokes were embedded into his brain, and then looked back to the audience once more. With a nervous gulp, he took a step closer to the microphone.

And then he began to laugh.

It was a nervous laugh, that much you could tell, but it seemed uncontrollable, almost painful in a way. You watched with concern as he slapped both hands over his mouth, his eyes screwed tightly shut as he tried to muffle out the sounds of his shrieks of laughter.

“Hey, Marty?” you frowned and turned back towards the bartender, sliding a few dollars across the bar. “Give me a double Jameson on the rocks. This guy’s gonna need it once this is over.”

…

Arthur’s set didn’t last long. After a few minutes, he had managed to finally get his laughter under control long enough to crack out a few jokes, but many would say they were subpar at best. You had giggled a few times as he delivered the punchlines, partly because you truly did think they were at least a little funny, but mostly because you didn’t want him to feel anymore awkward than what he probably already did.

He seemed to notice your laughter, which cause a look of relief to flash across his face for a brief moment, but that feeling didn’t last long. Crestfallen, he slumped back over to his table at the end of his act as the one or two claps from the audience died down after just a few seconds.

Determined to make his night at least a tiny bit brighter, you grabbed your serving tray and the drink the bartender had prepared for you and made your way towards Arthur’s table.

He sat there with a disheartened look on his face, flipping through his notebook as he tried to figure out where he had gone wrong.

“Tough crowd tonight, huh?” you smiled as you set the drink down in front of him. A puzzled look flashed across his face for a moment as he looked between yourself and the drink.

“Oh, I… I didn’t order this.” he smiled nervously.

You shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. It’s on the house.”

He bit his lip and looked up at you with puppy dog eyes.

“But I… I don’t normally drink.” he admitted shyly.

“Hmmm,” you hummed, looking playfully up at the ceiling in the thoughtful manner. “Maybe you can make an exception tonight?”

He blinked a few times as he considered your words, looking unsure of himself. You chuckled lightly and leaned down towards him, closing the distance between you two.

“C’mon, performing in front of these schmucks is enough to make anyone want to go crazy.” You rolled your eyes and whispered in an exaggerated tone, causing Arthur to chuckle at your words.

“Okay… yeah, I guess you’re right.” He stated as he reached for the glass. He brought it to his mouth and took the smallest of sips. You watched as he tried, terribly, to hide the look of distaste he suddenly showed as his lips curled upward in disgust.

You laughed lightly as he quickly tried to recover. “Guess you really don’t drink that often.”

He laughed softly and shook his head.

“No, I don’t.” He smiled shyly at you. “I’ve never really been a drinker. Guess it’s not really my thing.”

“Well, that’s okay.” You said to him. “I just figured it might help you take the edge off a bit.”

Arthur smiled at you. “I appreciate the gesture.”

“To be honest,” You went on. “I find drinking to be a little overrated. I mean, sure it’s fun once in a while, but the hangovers are just such a deal breaker for me.”

“Yeah,” He breathed, eyes suddenly widening a bit. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I think!”

A moment of silence came over you two as you smiled at each other. He seemed like a very sweet man. A little out there, sure, but sweet, nonetheless. Probably one of the few souls left in Gotham that hadn’t yet been eaten up by the greed of the city.

“So, Arthur, how long have you been a comedian?” You asked.

He seemed a little taken aback by your question, surprised that anyone had truly wanted to know about his career.

“Uhh,” He snapped back into reality. “Uh, not too long actually. I’ve wanted to do stand-up for as long as I can remember, but I’ve only really started to pursue it the last few years.”

“Ahh, a beginner.” You smirked at him. “Well, you’ll have to come back here and do a show once you become a big shot.”

He stared at you with those big, blue eyes of his. He couldn’t believe it. Someone was actually talking to him about this. Someone was actually talking to him about making it in the world of comedy.

Then, suddenly, his face fell. His shoulders slumped forward and he looked depressed all over again, as if your conversation hadn’t just happened. Then, he began to laugh again. At first, you thought he was crying, mostly because of the painful sounds that escaped his throat, but no tears fell from his eyes. The laughter choked him as he tried to process his thoughts.

“Are you okay?” You asked him with concern. “Did I… did I say something wrong?”

His laughs died down to slow whimpers as he shook his head at you, an apologetic look plastered on his face.

“No, no, it’s not that.” He stuttered, looking down at his notebook. “It’s just… I mean, you saw me out there. My act is terrible… I’m terrible.”

“I think that’s bullshit.”

Your words startled him. He looked up at you, eyes wide with surprise.

“You do?” He asked in a small voice.

You nodded and quickly sat in the chair across from him, leaning across the table to look him straight in the eye.

“Look, everyone’s gotta start somewhere right? You had a bad night. Big deal. It happens to the best of us. Don’t let it get you so down.”

You leaned back a bit, your lips forming a small smile.

“And besides, I thought your act was pretty damn good.” You winked at him.

He tried to stop it, but the laughter came out full force right then and there. He doubled over to the side of the table, both arms coming up quickly to cover his face, but he just couldn’t stop. He tried forcing it down, but it just made it that much harder for him to breathe. Tears stung the corner of his eyes as the laughter grew stronger and Arthur began to panic. He didn’t want to scare you off and he definitely didn’t want you to think he was making fun of you. Not when you were being so nice to him.

He quickly reached down into the pockets of his jacket, desperately searching for his card as he continued to stifle out the laughter. Once he finally found it, he reached out for you to take it from him.

You handed it back to him once you had read it, immediately feeling pity for him. How awful it must have been to live with something like that. People probably judged it for him constantly.

“I’m- I’m s-sorry,” he breathed, finally getting the laughter under control.

You shook your head and smiled sweetly at him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Hey, Y/N!” the bartender suddenly called out to you, startling both yourself and Arthur. “I need ya over here!”

“Okay, just a sec!” You called back before turning back to Arthur, a small, disappointed smile playing across your face. “Well, I gotta get going. It was nice to meet you Arthur.”

You stood up and took a step forward, but then turned back to him. “Keep doing what you’re doing. This city is going to shit, we could all use a good laugh once in a while.”

With that, you began to walk back towards the bar.

“Y/N!” Arthur suddenly called out.

You stopped and turned back towards him. “Yeah?”

He played with the sleeves of his jacket nervously as he looked towards the ground, trying to formulate his words correctly.

“I have… I, uh,” He stammered, still looking at the ground. “I’m gonna be here for next week’s show… will you be working?”

His voice was small and shy. He glanced up at you nervously, waiting for some sort of harsh rejection, but you smiled at him once more.

“Yeah,” You stated. “Yeah, I’ll be here.”


	2. Contagious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super excited to write this second chapter. Fleshing out details of characters' lives is something I really enjoy doing whenever I write, so this was a fun one for me. Not too much Arthur in this one, but we'll get more of him soon, I promise!
> 
> As always:  
Y/N = your name  
Y/F/N = your full name  
Y/L/N = your last name

“Hello, am I speaking with Y/F/N?”

The voice on the other end of the phone had hardly registered with you as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. You had worked a double shift last night and had only been in bed for about three hours when the annoying sound of your telephone had sprung throughout the room.

“Yeah, this is her.” You mumbled, trying your best to suppress a yawn.

“This is Tina Montgomery, from Glacier Talent Agency, I’m calling about the recent commercial you auditioned for with Starlight Cosmetics.”

Your heart stopped and suddenly, you were wide awake.

“…Miss Y/N?” Tina spoke after a few seconds of silence.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry, I’m here!!” You snapped back into reality. “Yes, what can I do for you?”

Your hands were suddenly shaky as you waited for Tina to speak. Your grip on the receiver tightened.

“Well Miss Y/L/N, I wanted to call and let you know that we truly appreciate you taking the time out of your day for this audition, but unfortunately the company has chosen to give the part to someone else.”

Your face fell. Your heart seemed to stop once more, but not in a good way.

Another rejection.

“Oh…” You whispered, running a hand through your disheveled hair.

“We’re so sorry about that, but we do have a few more auditions lined up,”

Tina went on to tell you about some opportunities for the near future, but you hardly heard her. You leaned forward and rested your head on your kitchen counter, trying to ignore the fact that the phone call was even happening.

“So, we’ll keep in touch then, okay?” Tina spoke, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Yes, of course. Thank you for letting me know.” You stood there for a moment after listening to the small click from Tina’s end of the line, a feeling of emptiness washing over you. It was only when the annoying off-hook tone rang into your ear that you finally put the phone back onto the receiver.

With a sigh, you pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes and stood still for a moment, processing what had just occurred. This had been your fourth rejection in the last month and a half. Needless to say, you were beginning to feel a little dejected when it came to your dream of becoming an actor.

“Fuck it.” You mumbled, looking over to the digital clock on your nightstand. You still had a good five hours before you had to get ready for work, which was a pleasant surprise.

_Especially after that shit show of a wake-up call, _you thought to yourself.

You navigated the space of your tiny studio apartment, walking past your second-hand sofa over to the small bookshelf that stood against the wall behind it. You reached for the small tin box, which was currently being used to prop up a small series of forgotten poetry books and popped open its lid as you made your way back over to your tiny couch.

You lazily plopped onto the sofa, making sure not to spill the contents of the box, and pulled out a joint that you had already prepared a few nights prior. You grabbed your lighter off the coffee table and brought it up to the tip of the joint.

You closed your eyes and took a long drag, relaxing both your muscles and your mind as much as you could. This commercial was supposed to bring in a small but good amount of money for you to put towards not only your savings, but your upcoming bills as well.

_Well, that's down the drain._

You sighed in frustration as you thought about just how much you’ll have to budget to make sure you’re at least able to make lunch and dinner for yourself, and on top of that, just how many shifts you’ll have to cover at the comedy club just to make sure your heat doesn’t get shut off within the next few weeks.

“Well, good fucking morning to you too, World,” you mutter, bringing the joint to your lips once more.

Suddenly, Arthur Fleck flashed through your mind, with his oversize clothes and his bright blue eyes. You thought back to the smile he had given you, how it seemed to radiate positive energy after you had given him a little pep talk.

You wished someone was here to give_ you_ that kind of pep talk right now.

“Maybe you should practice what you preach.” You tell yourself, head leaning upwards to stare at your ceiling. You wondered if Arthur would be at the club tonight, like he said he would. You could use a good laugh right about now.

…

Despite what he had said to you, Arthur didn’t show up that night. During your shift, you found yourself continuously glancing over to the door whenever someone came in. On more than one occasion, as you glided from table to table taking drink and food orders, you scanned the crowd for his face, wondering if maybe he had somehow slipped into the facility unnoticed. Whatever the case, you were noticeably distracted, which in turn took a small toll on your tips for that night.

Your shift came and went, and at the end of the night, as you sat at the bar counting your money, you couldn’t help but feel as though you had been stood up. It was a weird feeling, and you wondered why his absence affected you in such a bizarre way. It wasn’t as though this were a date. You hardly knew him; he was basically just a stranger to you.

_And you have boyfriend, _you thought to yourself, shaking your head.

Perhaps it was his personality that intrigued you. He was nice, despite the fact that he lived in Gotham. He had this innocent look on his face that you hadn’t seen anyone wear in quite some time.

And his smile was contagious.

_Gotham City needs more people like him,_ you thought. Maybe that was the reason you had been so disappointed about not seeing him tonight. After all the bullshit life has been putting you through, you had forgotten what it was like to genuinely smile. Arthur was able to put a true grin on your face, even if it was only for a few minutes.

…

The diner wasn’t as busy as it usually was on Saturday mornings. The smell of deep-fried foods hit you like a wave as you walked through the door, scanning the crowd for the familiar blond head of hair that belonged to your boyfriend.

“Babe, over here!” Drew called out, waving a hand at you from a few tables away.

“What took you so long?” he asked as you took a seat across from him. You notice that he’s already ordered two coffees, which you’re grateful for. You take a sip of yours before speaking.

“Sorry, I had a long night and almost slept through my alarm.” You explained, taking his hand in yours. He pulls away almost immediately and runs a hand through your disheveled bed head, a judgmental look flashing across his almost perfect features.

“Yeah, I can see that.” He mutters. Slightly embarrassed by his tone, you pull away and use the hair tie around your wrist to wrap your hair into a messy bun.

“So,” You change the subject. “There’s this silent film festival going on Tuesday night. “I was thinking we could go. Maybe grab some dinner beforehand? I don’t work that night, so it’ll be perfect.”

“Tuesday? I don’t know, babe.” Drew shrugs as he takes a sip of his coffee.

You frown at him. “Why not?”

“Work has been busy lately; I got this big pitch coming up and I gotta make sure I’m ready for it.”

You stare down at your coffee, a disappointed look gracing your features. You can’t remember the last time you and Drew had an actual date night. You hardly even got to see him now that he has his new job.

“C’mon babe, don’t gimme that look,” Drew says as he takes your chin between his thumb and index finger, causing you to look at him. “You know this job at Wayne Enterprises is my dream gig. Mr. Wayne might even be there to hear my pitch, you know I gotta look good for him.”

You nod slowly, taking his hand in yours and bringing it up to your cheek, relishing in his touch.

“Yeah, I know,” you whisper. “I just wish we could spend more time together, that’s all.”

Drew smiles at you. “I promise, we’ll get dinner sometime soon. We’ll dress up real nice too, the whole shabang.”

You smile softly at him; you could never stay mad at Drew for long. He had worked so hard to get this job; you knew it meant the world to him.

“Alright, I’m starving,” You state, looking down at the menu. “I’m feeling some pancakes.”

Drew suddenly pulls away from you again. “Actually babe, I can’t stay long.”

Your face falls as you look back up at him. “What?”

Drew is suddenly putting on his coat, he doesn’t even glance at you.

“Yeah, gotta meet up with my dad for some stupid family thing. But hey, I’ll call you later okay?”

He stands up, fishing through his wallet before he slaps a couple ten-dollar bills onto the table.

“Here, get yourself some pancakes, I know how much you like those.” He smiles and leans down, giving you a quick peck on the lips, before he walks past you and straight out the door.

It was then, as you sat there dumbfounded, that you realize he hadn’t even asked you about your audition.

…

You decided not to get pancakes after all, instead opting to use the extra twenty dollars Drew had left you to buy a few essential grocery items at the local corner store. You walked through the busy Gotham streets, the frigid air nipping your cheeks as you made your way towards your apartment. After your quick breakfast date (if you could even call it that) with Drew, you suddenly felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than to be back in your bed, dreaming about being anywhere but Gotham City.

Still lost in your thoughts, you turned down a small alley way, which was a convenient shortcut that saved you about two or three minutes of walking. As soon as you rounded the corner, your eyes immediately landed on a crumpled body on the ground a few feet away from you.

You stopped dead in your tracks, heart beating wildly.

Your first thought: _Is this man dead?_

Then, you eyed his torso. After a few grueling seconds. you could see it moving up and down hastily in an attempt for oxygen.

“Oh, thank god,” You whispered, suddenly aware that you were holding your breath. You dropped your small bag of groceries on the ground and ran over to the him.

“Hey! Are you alright?” You asked as you kneeled onto the ground. He was on his side, facing away from you, but you could still see his big, crazy green hair and comically oversized shoes. You slowly reached out and turned him onto his back. His face was covered in clown make-up, but you could tell he was bleeding from a large gash just above his left eyebrow. His breathing was sporadic, and he hardly seemed to notice you were there.

“Are you okay? Are you-” You stopped talking and squinted down at him. Through the make-up and blood, you recognized certain features that you were certain you had seen before.

“…Arthur?”


	3. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for taking so long on this chapter! I'm traveling for work and got super sick so I just wasn't in the mood for much of anything, let alone writing. I'm back to a stable schedule though, so things should be going smoothly from here on out!
> 
> Also, thanks so much for all of the great feedback! You guys seriously make me blush lol

The elevator ride up to your floor was eerily quiet. Arthur hadn’t spoken since you had (forcefully) insisted he come back to your apartment to get cleaned up. You glanced up at him every so often, waiting for him to burst out in anger at the situation he had just been in, but he remained silent. He showed no sign of anger or resentment on his face. Only exhaustion.

“So, are you gonna tell me what happened?”

Arthur looked up at you, his face now a messy combination of makeup, sweat, and blood. One of his hands held a wad of tissues up to the cut on his forehead, while his other was hugged tightly around his own waist.

“It was nothing,” he spoke, his voice a little raspy.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing, Arthur.” You stare apologetically at him. “You’re a mess right now.”

“It was just some kids. I was the one who ran after them in the first place. Really, it’s nothing.”

The elevator door opened just then. Without wanting to push the conversation any further, you motioned for Arthur to follow you as you guided him out into the hallway.

“I would have never guessed you lived in this neighborhood,” Arthur says as he waits for you to unlock your apartment.

“Yeah, lucky for you.” You smirk, holding the door open for him.

“I live just a few blocks from here,” he mentions as he walks through the threshold. He stands still for a moment, eyes wandering your tiny apartment. You suddenly feel a bit embarrassed by the place. It wasn’t rare for someone in Gotham to live in a shanty apartment building, but you hardly ever had company over, so this feeling was somewhat new to you.

“Sorry for the mess,” you mumble, setting your bag of groceries down on the counter of your kitchenette.

Arthur smiles gently and shakes his head as he glances at you.

“I don’t think it’s messy,” he says. “I think it’s nice.”

You eye him skeptically, a small smile playing on your lips.

“There’s some disinfectant and cotton balls in the medicine cabinet,” you state as you point at the small bathroom past Arthur. “And there are some towels beneath the sink, don’t worry about ruining them with the makeup.”

Arthur nods and turns towards the bathroom, but he suddenly turns back to you just before he enters.

“I’m a party clown,” he says suddenly, gesturing towards his outfit and makeup. “That’s why… you know, all this.”

His voice is small, and you can sense that he’s a bit embarrassed. Despite the big red smile painted over his lips, he was frowning. You realize that he reminds of those old, sad clown paintings you would see as a kid, the ones that you couldn't help but feel pity for, for whatever reason.

You also couldn’t help but feel the same way for Arthur.

“Well, that seems fitting.” you smile at him, wanting to lighten his mood. “Trying to get some experience in before making it as a big comedian?”

He shrugs, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Something like that.”

You turn back towards your kitchen counter and grab two mugs out of the dish rack.

“Go get cleaned up, I’ll make us some coffee.”

* * *

Arthur doesn't take too long in the bathroom. He walked out just a few minutes after you began preparing the coffee, his face freshly washed of any trace of clown makeup. The gash that you had seen above his eyebrow earlier turned out to be only a small cut, which he covered with a small flesh colored band-aid he had found in your medicine cabinet.

“Feeling any better?” you asked as you handed him a mug of hot coffee. Arthur shrugs as he takes a sip.

“A bit, yeah,” he stares at his coffee for a moment. “I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any trouble.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you smile at him. “I enjoy the company… but I wish it was under different circumstances.”

A few moments of silence pass between you two as you stand around your small kitchen. It’s not necessarily awkward, but you can tell the same thing is on both of your minds.

“So, you weren’t at the show last night,” you mention absentmindedly. You notice your heart is beating a little rapidly and you can’t really figure out why.

Arthur looks up at you suddenly, a slight look of confusion playing on his features.

“You noticed?”

You nod, eyes still fixated on your coffee.

“Yeah I mean,” you think carefully about your words. The last thing you wanted to do was seem as though you were expecting something more out of the small conversation you two had the other night. “Work is usually pretty boring. I was just hoping to have someone to talk to is all.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Arthur begins. “It’s just… my mother wasn’t feeling too good. I take care of her, so I would’ve felt bad if I left her.”

“Oh,” you murmur, feeling a little relieved that he hadn’t intentionally avoided you. “Is she okay?

Arthur smiles at your question, grateful that you seemed concerned for his mother.

“Yeah, she was feeling a lot better this morning before I left for work.”

His eyes suddenly fixate on something. Your gaze follows him as he moves towards the refrigerator and bends down a bit to get a better look at the picture hanging on its door.

“This is nice,” Arthur states, still eyeing the photo of you and Drew. “Who’s this with you?”

You take sip of coffee, a small smile pulling at the corner of your lips as you remember the moment that photo was taken. It was during one of your first dates with Drew, around Christmas time last year. You practically had to beg him to take a picture with you in front of the Christmas lights the city had hung around the local park.

“That’s Drew,” you take another sip of coffee, your eyes suddenly glancing up to Arthur. “My boyfriend.”

You don’t really know what you were expecting, but Arthur’s face doesn’t change, not in the slightest. He continues to stare at the picture for a moment, a blank look etched upon his face. Then, in one big gulp, he finishes his coffee and places the mug onto your counter.

“I should get going,” Arthur smiles softly at you, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You nod, maybe a little too hastily, and set down your own coffee before walking towards the door. A faint feeling of disappointment grows inside you as you watch Arthur gather his wig and fake red nose. It was nice to talk with someone for a bit, especially after the disappointing morning you had.

“Thanks again for letting me come here,” Arthur says as he crosses through the doorway and into the hall. “And I’m sorry for not showing up last night.”

You shrug as you lean against the door frame and wave nonchalantly.

“It’s no big deal, don’t worry about it.”

Arthur says nothing as he stands there. He glances down towards his shoes and you wonder for a moment if you should be the first to say goodbye, but then he speaks.

“Is there anything I could do to make it up to you?”

A moment of silence passes as he stares at you with his piercing blue eyes. Your first reaction is to shrug this whole thing off and go on about your life. Arthur is a stranger to you. You hardly know him. You probably shouldn’t have even brought him to your apartment.

But as you open your mouth to politely reject his offer, a small voice tells you to do just the opposite. You think back to your most recent audition rejection and feel a sense of failure. You think back to your morning with Drew and feel absolute anger and frustration.

You think of Arthur, and you feel a sense of relaxation.

_What’s there to lose?_ You think to yourself.

“Actually, yeah there is.” You smile widely at Arthur. “Do you like silent films?”

* * *

“What do you mean you’re going with someone else?” Drew’s annoyance comes through clearly over the phone. You instantly regret telling him that you’ve found someone else to go with you to the film festival.

“Well, you can’t go with me and I really want to go.” You play with the phone cord absentmindedly. “It’s not a big deal babe.”

“Who is it?” Drew asks. “It’s not a fucking guy, right?”

You hesitate a moment, knowing full well that Drew would practically blow up if you told him Arthur was in fact a man.

So, you decide to lie.

“No, it’s a new girl from work.” You say, desperately trying to hide any nervousness in your voice. “I figured we could get to know each other.”

You bite your lip, praying to whatever higher power there was that Drew would stop asking questions. Much to your relief, Drew does get a bit calmer, but you could tell he was still annoyed at the thought of you doing anything without him. It’s not the first time he’s acted this way, and sometimes you wonder why you put up with it.

“Fine, whatever.” He huffs, deciding to put an end to the conversation. “I’m coming over later, by the way, so don’t fall asleep.”

The phone call doesn’t last much longer after that. After hanging up, you laid on your couch and let out a long, exasperated sigh. You had never lied to Drew before, and because of this, part of you felt extremely guilty. You tried to put it out of your mind by telling yourself Arthur was just a friend, that this would be no different than having a relaxing night out with one of your girlfriends.

“You’re just being an idiot.” You mumble to yourself. “This is perfectly normal.”

You decided to put an end to these thoughts by occupying yourself with laundry, but a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d be just as excited to go out with a girlfriend as you are about going out with Arthur.


End file.
